Do I mention I am pregnant when making a presentation?
Recently, I received an email from one of my online public speaking workshop participants.
She wrote, “I am interviewing for a position and I am deeply pregnant. Should I somehow mention this just before my job talk? From one point of view, it sounds unprofessional. On the other hand, some people might focus more on the fact that I am pregnant than on my talk. Any advice?”
Here was my reply…
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Hmm… that’s a tough one. I think that if you are obviously pregnant there really is no need to draw additional attention. However, like anything that is a little out of the ordinary, some audience members will be distracted by it.
The “safe” suggestion is to not say anything at all. However, on the other hand, depending on your personality, you may be able to get away with a short quip to lighten the situation. Honestly, I think it depends a lot on your personality. It takes skill to deliver a quip and still appear very professional.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any ready-made quips about pregnancy. I am NOT a humorist, but here are three quips that came to my mind. You are free to use one of them or make up your own. The important thing is that you are comfortable delivering the line.
1) “Thanks for inviting “both” of us here today (and pat your belly and smile when you say the word “both”)
Or (if you are really BIG and close to delivery)
2) Don’t worry, I don’t plan to delivery here in this room–but you better go easy on me– just in case. (This one might backfire if it is perceived as you being weak, instead of funny.)
Or
3) Haven’t you ever heard…two heads (pat your belly and smile) are better than one?
For me personally, I would be willing to say the third one. I think you would get a small chuckle or at least a smile from your audience and then you could move one.
Let me know what you decide to do.
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What do you think? Should a pregnant woman say something? If so, what? I am very curious to hear what my readers think about this. Tell us in the comments, and don’t forget you can easily video record your comments just by clicking the “add video comment” below.
Michael Grandner wrote:
While I have (obviously) never been in this situation, I do have a couple of thoughts that may or may not be helpful.
While it is unprofessional and should never play a role, this is an issue that often plays a role in applying for an academic position. And it largely depends on who is making the decisions. It would be great if everyone were understanding and professional regarding pregnancy, this is too often not the case.
First off, I would suggest that you make sure that the committee making the decision knows of your situation. If you show up obviously pregnant, and they were unaware, they may feel like you misled them by omitting the detail. It probably suffices to mention it casually and matter-of-factly to whoever extended the talk invitation. You should never have to mention it, but often, decision-makers can be misguided as to what is relevant and what is not. And you want them to see you as honest and forthright, rather than looking like you are hiding something.
Second, when you get there and are giving the talk, you might want to introduce the obvious before starting, to get it out of the way. I like Lisa’s suggestions; just think of something that sounds natural.
Third, remember to take care of yourself up there. Talks are stressful enough without the extra stresses involved. Make sure you’re especially well-rested, hydrated, etc. That will reduce the degree to which your pregnancy is distracting to others (if they notice how it affects you) and make you look all the more on top of your game, instead of a little more sluggish than you want to appear.
Hope this helps. And good luck!
Posted on 30-Jun-08 at 12:49 pm | Permalink
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writing commencement speeches;
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Posted on 05-Jul-08 at 2:20 am | Permalink
James wrote:
I recently attended a workshop where the presenter was pregnant and she addressed it in a humorus way. She was at that stage where she looked pregnant, but not pregnant enough that you’d say “when’s the baby due?” so it was good she broke the ice in the beggining by saying “we’ll be taking a lot of breaks since my condition requires frequent trips to the bathroom.” I thought it was fine for that situation, but I can see situations where that type of humor is considered inappropriate.
I also think Michael makes some excellent points.
James
blog.jvf.com
Posted on 06-Jul-08 at 3:35 pm | Permalink
Maxine wrote:
Interesting debate. From my point of view, the most interesting thing about it is that it is even happening. When I first applied for jobs outside the academic sphere, it was quite usual to be asked at interview whether one intended to “marry and have children”, a question that was not asked of male candidates, of course.
Posted on 08-Sep-08 at 2:13 pm | Permalink
Christine wrote:
I, too, like a lot of Michael’s suggestions and agree that getting the word out ahead of time may help prepare the audience better. Another thing to note for those who may find themselves in this situation - depending on the stage you’re in, natural breathing/voice projection may become more difficult. I always found that it was better for me to use a microphone during my pregnancies than to risk hyperventilating trying to reach the back of the room with limited lung capacity (particularly in higher stress talks). I learned my lesson the hard way when I almost passed out during a talk in a very large room w/bad acoustics. Remember to breathe - often!
Posted on 09-Sep-08 at 1:34 pm | Permalink